I Will Die Trying
by BlackRosenThorne
Summary: What happens when Sasuke has made his choice to leave, but Naruto makes it hard for him! Rated M for later chapters and my co-author is a troll! But thats besides the point! Read this  eventually  Yummy Yaoi roleplay turned Fanfiction by me and Gummy! :


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto nor does my co author Gummy Dragon!

A/N: Sasuke's part was written by Gummy Dragon and Naruto's part was written by me (: hope you guys like it! (:

Please review!

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Chapter one: The Beginnings and the Truth

Training wasn't going well for Sasuke today. It was only five minutes into the lesson and he'd already missed three of the five targets during throwing knife practice and somehow managed to lodge a ninja star into the bas of a tree which was, by the way, NOT what he had been aiming for. Sasuke took in a deep breath and readied his fourth kunai. He squeezed his eyes shut, blinked them open again, and adjusted his stance for the fiftieth time. But it was no use. He was just too distracted. 'Come on, Sasuke!..Focus!' he thought critically to himself, tightening his grip in the knife so hard that his knuckles turned white. He pulled his arm back to throw. 'Focus…/focus/…FOCUS!'

As the kunai left his fingertips, a flash of a pale man with golden eyes and long, black hair flashed across his vision. And then less than a milli-second later… *SHING!* There was a quietness in the air as the tip of the knife pierced the bulls-eye and Sasuke blinked hard again, trying to clear the image of the man burned into his eye lids. When he recognized his success –no, the only success he'd had that day –he had his resolve. It was settled. He had to take Orochimaru's he didn't, he would only get worse. A day of training like this hadn't happened even once in Sasuke's lifetime, and hewasn't dying for a repeat…

"Sensei…" Sasuke muttered, turning away from the splintered target to address the man behind him with the one visible eye, "I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well today. I apologize. May I take a break?" Kakashi let a short pause fall between them before he answered, but nodded, all-the-same. His eye looked a bit wide…though; Kakashi always seemed to look like that…

"Thank you." Sasuke murmured, going to take a seat next to Naruto on the wooden bench. It was now Sakura's turn to practice kunai-throwing. This would mean that there'd be plenty of time for Naruto to talk to him, and, after a performance like that, there was no doubt he'd have plenty of questions, unwanted ones, at that…

Sasuke stared absently ahead, at first, but then faltered, sneaking a glance sideways at the other boy. Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, perhaps to tell Naruto of his encounter with the snake, but found himself shutting it, again, just as soon as it opened it. No…he couldn't tell him. If he told Naruto, it'd just break his heart. Although they hadn't ever shown it in public, Sasuke has reason to believe that Naruto had some sort of… "feelings" for him…And, to his dismay, he had realized recently that somehow along the way, he may have developed some of his own for the ditzy blonde. His heart clenched and he swallowed to soothe his dry throat. No…it just simply wasn't an option…He'd have to leave at night when Naruto was asleep. It was probably better that he wasn't in the boy's life anyways...

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Naruto was confused at the other male's performance. "Sasuke…" he said as he watched the other male. When Sasuke sat down,he leaned over. "Sasu…are you okay…?" he whispered softly "you seem…off…with everything…" he said softly, "will you talk to me about it? I'm worried sasu…" he said, keeping his head down. The small blonde had always liked the raven beside him. But only recently had he told Sasuke that he loved him.

His heart sank as he saw the confusion in Sasuke's eyes. A single tear threatened to fall from his eye.

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The ebony-haired ninja shrunk away a bit as the blonde next to him leaned in his direction, his dark, curious eyes quickly averting themselves. The tone of voice the other male was using was discomforting and still relatively new to the raven. It was a tone of loving, of someone actually caring about him, rather than just wanting to get into his pants. It was the tone of someone he cared about, as well, and that was what scared him. That would make what he planned to do even harder.

Sasuke answered that boy's prying questions through the barrier of his hair as he resorted to staring ahead once more. He didn't want to hurt Naruto any more that he had to; he already knew that there was no way of avoiding it now. It was amazing how feelings, once unharnessed, would become so powerful so fast…Hurting Naruto would be a hard thing for him, now…But this was for the best. If he didn't allow their bond to grow stronger, then maybe it wouldn't hurt the orange-cloaked ninja so badly. One thing he knew was that this would be the only way he could avoid harming himself too.

"I'm fine." Sasuke whispered quietly, staring down at his lap. Anywhere but the boy's large blue eyes would suffice. "Like I told Kakashi-Sensei, I'm not feeling well…" he paused and noticed the awkward silence in the air. This caused him to sneak a look at Naruto that he wished he hadn't. The boy seemed to be on the verge of tears, somehow. Already on the verge of tears with no reason, yet, for heartbreak…Leaving was going to be harder on the other that he'd expected, it seemed…which was saying a lot.

"What's wrong with you?" he finally mustered, trying his best to sound apathetic and trying to pretend that the tears he was watching sliding down Naruto's cheek didn't exist. "It's nothing major, I'm sure, Just a cold." He added hurriedly. Little did he know, the blonde he'd considered to be permanently giddy and dense could read him better than that.

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Naruto grunted. "Whatever teme…" he muttered, "come over to my place after training…we need to talk." He whispered softly. His heart was breaking slowly as he watched the other male lie through his teeth. 'Sasuke…?' he thought to himself 'why do you lie to me?' he thought sadly. He glanced towards Sakura, who was finished with her training. It was his turn. He went to his stance and tried to train. Only he failed like Sasuke because his mind was absent.

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The look Naruto was giving him immediately corrected him on his assumptions. Naruto was anything but dense; he knew Sasuke had been lying. Feeling a twinge of shame at already upsetting the boy, Sasuke looked at his lap again. He lifted his head only when Naruto rose to do his own training. He watched silently from the bench as the blonde entirely butchered his routines, perhaps even worse than he himself had done. Well however he felt like a jerk.

The raven sighed, solemnly watching the other ninja, hunched over with his cheek in his palm, his elbow resting on his thigh. 'dammit…' he thought, frowning 'smooth move, idiot. You upset him.' It was then that Sakura made her untimely entrance, interrupting his brooding thoughts. "Hey Sasuke…" the pink-haired girl said softly, sitting down next to him too close for his liking, "You're not feeling well?" she asked, her emerald eyes sympathetic.

Sasuke had to resist the urge to get up and walk off. He didn't need another person feeling sorry for him. He was managing that perfectly fine all by himself. When he didn't answer fast enough, Sakura leaned forward in attempt to make eye contact with him, cocking her head. "Sasuke?" she repeated, but the raven didn't answer. Instead, he pulled himself to his feet and turned toward the pathway that would lead him home.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." He said in what he hoped was a firm voice. "Really." He wanted to have at least one person that wouldn't be worrying about him, at least not until there was any reason for worry. "I'm…just going home to take a nap. Don't bother me." He mumbled walking away. And he had fully planned to walk home. At least, that was what he would have done had he been smart. Instead, he wound his way through the Hidden Leaf Village all the way until he reached the apartment that he knew belonged to Naruto.

He stopped and slammed his back into the wall of the building in frustration, flinching a bit as he did. Now, there was nothing to do but wait.

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After a few minutes, Naruto headed home. He noticed Sasuke at his apartment. "Sasu…?" he said, walking over to the other male, "What's wrong?" he said, walking over to his door and unlocking it. "Come inside." The smaller blonde looked at the raven with worry. He knew that this was going to become a break down for the two of them.

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Sasuke, who'd been standing slumped against the wall with his arms crossed, straightened up as Naruto came into view. He watched dully, trying to detach himself from his emotions as Naruto approached his side, then went to unlock the door. "You told me to come." He answered flatly, following Naruto only after the blonde male had disappeared from his sight.

When he entered the room, he couldn't help but breathe in the boy's scent. This might be the last time he smelled it. No. He had to stop. If he didn't quit falling for the other in the early stages, then he'd only hurt himself more. Sasuke lowered his lids sadly and watched his feet carry him mechanically over to the couch. Yes. The best thing he could hope for was to be detached, just like this; just as he always had before. This, he assured himself was a good thing.

"What did you want to say?" Sasuke finally heard himself say from the couch and into his friend's concerned face.

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Naruto leaned over to Sasuke and laid his head onto Sasuke's shoulder. After a few moments of silence, Naruto leaned in and kissed Sasuke.

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The protective fog that Sasuke had sealed himself inside cleared the moment Naruto laid his chin on his shoulder. He realized it was silly that he was doing this to himself, yet alone Naruto. No matter how much he pretended or lied for himself and the boy, it was clear he'd gotten aboard a train that he couldn't stop a long time ago.

"Naruto, I-" he began, ready to spill everything he had on his mind to this boy who'd, somehow, managed to find his way into his cold, blood thirsty, heart. The truth was, he realized, that all along this boy might have been the only thing that had kept him human. Did he really want to leave, then, if it would turn him into Itachi?

These things ran through his thoughts just before the other's lips locked over his own, ceasing all thought and his attempt to tell the truth of his odd behavior. His eyes widened momentarily, as his brain registered what was happening. Then, it seemed to catch up and he was pulling the blonde into his lap by the baggy orange jacket material around his waist. He deepened the kiss, losing himself in Naruto's smell, his taste, and his mere presence. It was as if this was what he'd been craving for a long time, this intimate kind of love and touch that he hadn't gotten a chance to experience before it was too late.

After a minute of kissing, Sasuke finally came to his senses from the need to breathe. He broke the kiss, then, gasping for air with a shocked look on his face. He stared at the wall past Naruto's shoulder with wide eyes. No…what had he just done? What had he-? How the hell was he supposed to leave now?

Suddenly, the raven pulled Naruto off of his lap and onto the couch beside him. He then rose to his feet and turned to face Naruto. He took in a few breaths before he was finally able to speak. And, even then, his words were hardly considered adequate.

"I…I can't." The raven choked out, Turning and running out the door. He ran and ran some more until he couldn't go any further. He was far into the woods, now, he realized as he collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion.

He'd done it…he'd run away…He smiled a faint, broken smile at the ground beneath his felled body as tears squeezed their ways past his unblinking eyelids. And then his world went black…

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Naruto smiled and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck. How he had longed to do this. When the broke, he went to lay his head down but was roughly shoved by the other. "Sasuke…" he whispered, going to reach for the other's hand. The small blonde had tears threatening his eyes, but when the raven said he couldn't they broke loose.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled after the boy as he ran out the door. "Sasuke…" he whispered once the boy was gone. He curled up into a ball on his sofa and cried. His life, the light in his dark, lonely world, and the only person who truly understood him was gone.

After a while, Naruto got up and turned on his radio(1) trying to calm down but it didn't work. A new song pierced the silence; _"if it takes forever…I will die trying…"_ the song sang. Naruto began to cry once more. This time he fell asleep with tears falling down his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(1) Yes they have radios :D So bite me!

Me: I swear I may kill Gummy Dragons . its 1;37 AM! And I wanna sleep!

Gummy: LOL. Oh, really? *checks clock* PFFFT. I work her worse than a slavedriver! Ahahaha. Anyways, sleep is for sissies! Pshhh. Who sleeps? ;D Anywho, hope ya enjoyed the chapter!~ See ya next time we get all of this shizz typed up! :3

Me: *ties up Gummy and throws her in closet* I am getting my damn sleep! Any ways! There will be a poll on my profile on whether or not you guys want us to continue to post so VOTE! And trust me…*can't help self* I'm the doctor! No but seriously it gets all lemony and yummy~so stay tuned kayy?


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